Wedding Venue vs. Private Estate (Where Should I Host My Wedding?)
You just got engaged and what’s the first thing that everyone starts asking you…. What’s your wedding date? Where are you getting married?? Am I invited???
Before getting overwhelmed, it’s important to first take a step back and weigh all possible options. You want to take everything one step at a time. First up - choosing where you will host your wedding.
No… this isn’t a blog post about all the different venues we’ve worked at. We want to get you thinking about the bigger picture.
When it comes down to it, there really are two different options when it comes to where you host your wedding:
An established wedding venue with package and service options
A private estate where you bring everything in
While I’m sure it’s fairly easy to envision what exactly a ‘venue’ is - you know, the places that have certain features or amenities that draw people in, such as a rustic barn that’s been restored to hone a more modern look, or a lush, elegantly designed garden - the term ‘private estate’ may inspire more curiosity.
To put it simply, in most cases, a private estate is really just someone’s home.
It could be the current home of the couple getting married, somewhere that they will soon be moving into, or possibly even the home of one of the individual’s parents/family members.
Just as there are with many decisions in the wedding planning process, there are a number of positives/negatives and different things to take into consideration if choosing a venue over a private estate and vice versa.
Let’s start with what you can expect when going the route of a more established wedding venue, and the pros and cons that come with it.
Venue Pros
One of the biggest pros to booking a date at a venue rather than having your wedding at a home, is that the people that work there, (unless the place is brand new) have most likely already hosted many weddings, so they’ll be in the know about what’s good to do and what isn’t.
Also, in relation to other vendors, many times venues will have a list of recommended vendors that they have either worked with before or know provide quality services, that they’ll hand over during a tour or at the beginning of the selection process.
This can be extremely helpful as it’s one less thing to think about and can take some of the work of searching for them yourself, off of your shoulders.
Another big pro of going with a venue is that they will probably have much more already covered that you won’t have to deal with. For example, it’s very common these days for venues to include things like tables, chairs, restrooms, etc. in their wedding packages.
Not only that but there is often a designated place for both your guests and any shuttles you may hire, to park on-site.
Finally, there are some venues that come with certain perks or services that you may not have as readily available with a private estate wedding.
For instance, there may be a room or rooms specially crafted (lighted mirrors, dress hooks, etc.) at the venue that the wedding party can use to get ready in the morning of your wedding.
Also, remember those tables and chairs we just mentioned? Well, there’s a good chance that if the venue you decide on comes with them, they will be the ones to set them up for you. However, if they don’t, your caterer may take on that responsibility.
On a bit of a different note, something that may be more applicable to a wedding venue over a private estate is the variety of potential photo opportunities.
As discussed before, venues are likely to have certain qualities that set them apart from others - this meaning that a particular location may have multiple spots on the property in which you can take photos, while (depending on where you live of course) a private home may only have a select few.
On the other side of the spectrum, here are some of the pros of having a private estate wedding…
Private Estate Pros
With a wedding that’s held at a private estate rather than a more established venue, the couple can choose a location that holds a special meaning for them, such as having the festivities in the field behind your parents home where the two of you shared your first kiss, or something of that nature.
This isn’t to say that a venue can’t hold special meaning to a couple also - it just may not be as exact in terms of location. For example, the area of Downtown Chicago may be where you first met each other, and while there are a number of wedding venues there, you may not find one in the very same spot.
(This couple had their wedding in the backyard of their home in upstate NY that they had recently purchased together)
Another thing that’s nice if deciding to have your wedding at a private estate, is that especially when renting a tent, (unless your chosen location/house has a large enough space indoors to comfortably fit all of your guests for your reception) there is usually a lot more say in the creative design of said space, as most tents are usually white or clear-topped and pretty much act as a blank canvas.
The interior/exterior of an established venue will sometimes already have a specific style to it (antique-looking wallpaper, modern light fixtures, etc.), which you then may have to more so build your design around or incorporate into what you’re envisioning.
Ultimately, and this may go without saying, but, one of the best pros of having your wedding at your own home (if that’s what you choose) is just that - that it’s your own. Not only is there a sense of familiarity and comfort that can come from being in a space that you know, but at the end of the day, you’re sometimes able to have a little more control over what’s happening.
Depending on where the private estate is located and where a lot of the guests you’ll be inviting are coming from, going with this option may also save you from having to worry about putting a large group of people up in a hotel or having to figure out a form of transportation for them from there to the venue.
(Some people will decide to ride in a shuttle, for example, to and from, if they know they’ll be drinking and want to play it safe)
Now, to get into some of the downsides, or cons, of both private estate weddings and venue weddings…
Private Estate Cons
The most stand-out con that comes along with private estate weddings is the fact that with these types of weddings, the number (and therefore cost) of rented items is usually much higher.
Unlike venues, many of which, as stated before, include tables, chairs, etc. in their wedding packages - with a private estate wedding, you have to source all of that yourself.
For example, here’s a quote from Jess, one of Fancy Fox Events’ past brides who had a wedding at her home:
“Hosting a “backyard wedding” turned out to be no easy task. We quickly learned that unlike traditional venues that may offer essentials like tables, chairs, in house catering (& basics like restrooms, lighting & heat) we would have to rent every last item & have it transported onto the property. It was certainly more than we even considered (thank god for the expertise of our planner @fancyfox.events for her organization, advice, vendor research & creativity)”
Some other things to keep in mind, one of which Jess touched on, are:
Having a proper electrical setup and a generator to run power to
Tent load-in and ‘strike’ (taking the tent down)
Where your guests will be parking
Restrooms (will most likely need to rent a restroom trailer)
Noise ordinances (if you live in a neighborhood and will be holding the wedding there - how late are you allowed to have music playing?)
Vendor load-in location (will your vendors have to drive through your grass to get to the ceremony/reception space to set up their stuff, or will there be a designated area for that?)
As you can see, when having a wedding at a private estate there are many things to consider, so you’ll most definitely want to have a planner who has experience with weddings like these.
Venue Cons
It may seem as though a venue wedding would be saving you some money that would otherwise be going to extra vendor/rental costs for a private estate wedding.
However, sometimes, a con to picking a venue is that it’s more expensive upfront to reserve a property and all it has to offer than it would be to selectively choose how much you’re comfortable spending on various things throughout the process.
Also, depending on the venue you end up going with, there are sometimes extra fees for things here and there, given that it’s a service-based establishment and you are going to them rather than them coming to you.
Some of the things to think about no matter which of these options you end up choosing are:
Establishing an inclement weather plan
Deciding what your floorplans will look like
Knowing what direction sunset will be (if you’d like to do sunset photos later in the day)
To speak on costs one final time - if, before reading this, you were under the impression that in totality, a venue is more expensive than a private estate (or ‘backyard’) wedding - it really does just depend on how you do it. The reality is, you could decide to have a wedding at your home, hire a ton of different vendors, and have all the bells and whistles in terms of decor/florals/etc., and end up spending a little more than you maybe would have had you chosen a venue instead.
If you want to build everything from scratch, choose everything yourself and perhaps have more of a unique setting, then a tent/private estate wedding is the way to go.
And if you feel as though you want more of an established building that already comes with a lot of features and has an experienced team behind it, a venue may be the better choice for you.
Above all, the most crucial thing is that you and your partner are happy with the location you choose and have picked a place that you love and can truly see yourself spending your wedding day at.
Whether it’s a venue or a private estate, the setting you get married in will forever hold a beloved place in your heart and even 10, 20, 30 years down the road, will remind you of one of the best days of your lives :)
